Day 21; January 31st, 2011: Errands.

 So today I ran errands around Medford and Central Point. I had to:

•  Drop off something for my mom
• Go to the bank
• Go to the mall and spend my rebate that expires tomorrow
• Get Dutch Bros

Funny thing is; while I was trying to drop off the package for my mom, I got lost. I should have known where this street was, because it is East Main... but yet, I passed it somehow and ended up all the way on the other side of town. So I got back into the right side of town, retried... and failed so I decided I was going to go to the closest Dutch Bros. (for those who don't know what Dutch Bros. or DB is... its a coffee stand that was started in Grants Pass, Oregon and its my favorite coffee stand). I know where every DB is in this town (and many others) so I get there, look at the street sign and guess what?! Its on East Main! I started laughing so hard.
So that was my adventure today.

Day 20; January 30th, 2011: Lesson learned... don't make plans.

So today was the day I was supposed to see Steven, he was supposed to be spending the night on the very couch I'm sitting on. I was kinda counting on this visit to be able to finally talk to a male about everything going on... but this plan fell through. Now I feel like I'm waiting on a text from Devin to hang out, this wont happen either.  I feel so close to tears because I need that male support. I don't feel like I have it anymore. I used to go to Matty when things like this piled up, and I'm sure I still can... but with his schedule, its hard to catch him. I just need a hug from a guy... a supportive smile.... and the knowledge of knowing...
He's there.

Day 19; January 29th, 2011: "Light & Truth"

Today I sent in my application to HSU (Humboldt State University),

I'm hoping like no other that I'll get in.

I love Northern California.

"Light and Truth" is the schools motto, 

and you know what.... 

I LOVE IT.

Though I'm not a fan that I'd be a Lumberjack,

I can live.

So,

readers,

please send positive thoughts about me getting this acceptance letter....

I really need it.

Day 18; January 28th, 2011: "Slow Dancing in a Burning Room"

So,

just got home from dancing at the ballroom. <3

I love that place.

 My mom went tonight which made me happy.

I love watching her dance, and having her see me dance.

She said I've improved greatly and that she loves to watch me dance.

This, though I've been hearing this for 15 years, still makes me feel great and reminds me of why I'm still thankful she forced me to stay in dance when I was little.

I missed Steve, and so happy I got to dance with him sooooooo much. 

I love dancing with him...

I'm trying to find him on facebook...

but silly me,

I don't know his last name.

Day 17; January 27th, 2011: Home...

Today I am driving home. I'm so excited to go home and just... de-stress. I can't wait to see my mama either. I miss her so much and miss talking to her about everything on a daily basis. I'll also go see Ariel tonight when I get home.

Well, I'm packed (except for my computer obviously) so, I'm off. 

<3

See ya later Eugene, CP I'm coming home.

Day 16; January 26th, 2011: I did it.

 So today, I decided I was going to cook for Josh, Nathanial (friend), Mat and I. This meant I needed to go to Target and Albertsons. I decided: who really cares. So I got the guts to wear my "fire engine red" lipstick. At first it felt like people were looking at me... but once I decided that I don't care what they think, I walked tall with confidence and got so many compliments and girls saying they wish they could pull off the color. :)










Goal from yesterday: accomplished... and I found a new favorite lipstick. :)

On the menu:

Spaghetti with meatballs

and brownies. 

YUM!

Day 15; January 25th, 2011: "Fire Engine Red"

Not going to lie. If I had the confidence to always wear this red of lipstick, I would. I love the color on me, and I feel like I rock it. When my hair is curled I feel like a pin-up... when its straight I feel like a rock star... but either way, the lipstick shade never goes anywhere public. 

New goal: gain confidence.

Hung out with Matty all day. Haven't really talked to him in days, and I've been missing him. Which is beyond silly because I live with him! We're apparently going to go to the movies later. Its been a good day.

Movie: Burlesque

GO SEE IT!!!

<3

It is so good!!

Has Cher, Christina Aguilera, and Eric Dane (Dr. Steamy for those Grey's Anatomy fans)

Also has the ever so cute Cam Gigandet (played James in the first two of the Twilight saga movies)

and my favorite: my biggest idol... none other than the ever so awesomely talented Julianne Hough.

With this cast, its a must see.

Day 14; January 24th, 2011: Domino's?

So people wonder why I sleep till 11 in the morning. This right here is the reason. I stay up till about 2 every morning/night talking to my friends and trying to help them with their problems. I swear if I charged about 5 bucks an hour for every hour I lose of sleep while I'm helping my friends. I would be rich by the time I'm 30. But I help them with a smile, because I love that they choose me to come to. It makes me feel loved and important in their lives. <3

 When I drink English Breakfast tea, I go back to my childhood. You see, my dad used to live in Lolita, California... and while he went away to work I'd stay at my grandparent's. When my dad would get off work: he'd make a cup of tea, sit down and put me on his lap. I'd sit there drinking tea with him while he talked to my grandparents. Every time I drink or smell English Breakfast black tea, this memory is where I go. This memory is where my obsession with tea started... this memory is the first memory I have of drinking hot tea.

I'm showered, hair done and make up done. I'm content now. But something odd happened today. I was sitting on my bed when there was a knock at my door. It was a Domino's delivery man. With a delivery for me.... but I didn't order pizza. And not only was there pizza but pasta and lava cakes too.
I wanna know who sent this.... 'cause they are my favorite.

Day13; January 23rd, 2011: I claim

I'm staying in bed today, nothing exciting. 

I just don't feel like dealing with people today.

I'm not going to answer my phone, or text or instant messages from most people.

I claim a personal day.

Day 12; January 22nd, 2011: eeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeesssssss

     So today my eyes are fascinating me. The yellow ring in them are very prompt today. It kinda excites me. Out of all the days that I thought would be great, this has been rather.... boring. I drove to Valley River Center with Kayla and we went to Macy's for Kayla's makeup and then went to Panda for my Orange Chicken. YUM!! Then it was decided that we had to come back to the apartment to get Josh before going over to Target. I was able to get my soda and batteries while I was there. Ya know, for a Saturday, today is quite uneventful. Which is sad because with how my eyes look today I feel like I should have a date. BUT here I am, dateless. Oh well, at least I feel good and my eyes are gorgeous.

Later:

I guess, I should be counting my blessings. I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and people who care about me. Yet, I can't lie... I sometimes feel taken advantage of. I know I like to kick back and sit on my butt, but (hehe) I'm not just sitting on my computer goofing off all day... I am looking for jobs. 

I just wonder sometimes, how this is going to end. 

I love living with Mat and Josh, don't get me wrong. They are the best roommies I could have asked for at this point in my life (though I miss Cortney like no other!!) I just hope that I came into this with 2 friends, and that I leave this with 2 friends. 

"Best part about tonight, is we're not fighting"

'cause I'm the only one not locked away in my room... and yet... I possibly feel the loneliest.

Day 11; January 21st, 2011: Mascara

So though I know I wear much more make up than just my mascara, I can't lie... my mascara is my best friend. It is the one piece of make up I can not live without. If I ever had to get rid of all my make up, and not wear make up... I'd take that deal on one condition: I get to keep my mascara. I already have long eye lashes, but I like making them dark as dark can be. I could live without my eye shadow, cover up, eye liner and lip gloss... but I think I would cry if I had to get rid of my mascara. So for those of you who have joked that you're going to take away my make up to see if I could deal, here's a warning for you: take my mascara and you will be sorry. Okay? Thanks.

Day 10; January 20, 2011: Such a boring day.

Before

     So there is honestly nothing exciting about today... sad huh? I've gotten dressed, done my hair and make up... and there's nothing to do. I guess it happens.
I haven't heard back from jobs yet, and I did get an email saying I need to update my FAFSA for 2011 school year... but I have to wait for my mom to call me with my PIN since I don't have it.
That my dears, is my day thus far.
Hopefully something exciting will happen so I can add more later.
As for now: its top ramen time.

                                                          After

Day 9; January 19th, 2011: The sun will be out, tomorrow...

Today was a great day, honestly! I woke up at around 9ish... I think. And though my dog caused some non-stop trouble and work for me this morning I was still able to smile. How great is that? I had to do some laundry today since my dog threw up on the couch cover, eeeeeeeew. But it gave me motivation to do some of my own laundry. After I started that task I got online to just do some goofing around, which I quickly got bored of. So I checked my email to see if I got anything back about jobs: nope. All emails were notifications from Facebook. UGH! Shower time, yes please. Then I was thinking about how I want to go to Humboldt in September and I knew college application deadlines were coming up quick: so off to check when Humboldt was due... oh hey look, its due January 31st. Thank goodness I checked! Phew. So then I remembered that they need a copy of my official transcript from UNLV. Of this I had been blocked from getting since December, but I still checked and what do you know: I'm unblocked! Official transcripts: sent! Whoo!!!!! On a roll! I had to check my email for a confirmation about the transcripts and what do you know: there's a response to one of the jobs I applied for! This lady needs a part time nanny for her son. Sounds like a good job for me. So now, all I need to find is where to get my GPA from UNLV and my application for HSU is able to be sent off. I should have known today would be better than yesterday.

Day 8; January 18th, 2011: Jobs?

 

So this is my day today:

Thats right....

we all know how it looks.

The tretcurous:

JOB HUNTING!

Thus far I have applied to 8 places...

Been turned down by 3

and had to make a cover letter.

Then I had to call 3 other places to see if I could get an interview.

It's only 2:08 and as you can see, I'm up, busy, dressed with hair and make up done.

This is shocking to me since I didn't get to sleep until about 5 this morning.

Productive day, day 8 is.

But that's okay with me.

Day 7; January 17th, 2011: Today

 

^ So this was me at the start of the day..

it was one of those days where I really just wanted to stay in bed and not move. Its not that I wanted to sleep, I just wasn't wanting to deal with the day that the world was going to give me today. Much to my dismay: I got up, got dressed, did my hair and make up and was ready to face the world. Much to my surprise, I turned after cleaning up some make up from my floor to my door being slightly open and Matty bringing me "brunch" (it was about 12:30ish) in bed. :) This was a good start of the day that I thought would be horrible.

Next Matty and I went shopping after we stopped at Starbucks and he bought me one of my favorite drinks (for you cyber stalkers I'll just tell you that it is a White Chocolate Mocha with extra chocolate, this should save you trouble in research.), then as I said: we went grocery shopping. Eh, not so much fun until the store started practically attacking Mat. 

We came back to the apartment and just sat around for a little. Josh decided he was going to be making dinner (yay, I didn't have to cook or use my own food!)... so while Mat, Kayla and I watched Hercules... Josh was making dinner: bacon wrapped turkey. 

After this and after the movie, it was time for Mat to go to the bowling alley, which I decided to go with him because I had nothing else to do. Got there, and didn't wanna bowl so I was just sitting. Then Josh came in and him and I talked the entire time. It was great! Now I am back laying on my bed, as the guys are at the gym working out.

I can't lie: I love my apartment-mates.

^ Me now, 

cutting it close to be able to post this blog.... 

hehehe

Day 6; January 16th, 2011; Base

  Heading back to base today, and it seems like every song that is playing just describes how I feel. Don't you hate that? I've figured out that though I love to travel: I kinda don't like being in the car for long... I'm not claustrophobic, but I sure have been having those tendencies lately. I knew I was a claustrophobic driver: I can't have semis on both sides of me if I'm on a 3 lane highway, and I hate going through construction zones where both sides have the concrete blocks. But I'm fine in confined spaces... or at least I used to be. Now they seem to be making me sick, I also can't seem to be in a greatly populated place for too long. Hmm, so much is changing, and I just can't seem to keep up...

Can't I just go back in time?

Later:

Never underestimate the power of a 

good, hot, loooooooooooong shower 

when the roommates are gone. :)

Now off again to finish making my top ramen.

Day 5; January 15th, 2011: Skin, red and missing mom

 

I'm in love with my pale skin again. Sure I miss the being "tan" from all the sun in Vegas (which really, I didn't get THAT much tanner) but with my pale skin, I can pull off "Fire Engine Red" lipstick pretty well. Kinda love it, not going to lie. I'm a little homesick today; in need of my mom really. I miss talking to her about everything that's going on. I never realized it until I was out of the house: my mom is my best friend. I'm hoping to see her when I go back home on the 28th for the Evergreen Ballroom Winter Showcase, but she'll be in Albany which is past where I live currently... hopefully our paths will cross on that trip somehow, I miss her.

Day 4; January 14th, 2011: Good morning.

I love waking up and having my dog cuddle with me, its always my favorite way to start a morning. Until he decides "okay enough of this nonsense" and starts tackling and playing. For example: this morning he decided he was going to snuggle, then move to lay on my pillow and brush my hair. Even though my dog is really odd, I still love him dearly. He's my best friend. He'll be the first dog I've ever raised from being a puppy. It makes me really sad that he's getting so old and on average, he's only supposed to live for two more years. 

I think anyone that knows me knows I adore my dog. I know he's not the most social dog, and I know he's an annoying pain in the butt... but I've had him since 4th grade. He's always been there for me when I need him, and when I didn't know I needed him. I don't know what I would have done without him through some of the things I went through. I got him because my mom started working and I wanted someone to be excited when I came home, and Victor was. I think everyone has heard the story that I really didn't want a Chihuahua, I wanted a Golden Retriever. But my mom's house was too small, and it wouldn't be fair to the dog, so my mom said to look through the news paper. Now I really wanted a Pomeranian, but my mom said we'd have to take it to the salon to keep its fur good... so what dog is small and doesn't have to be taken to a salon: Chihuahua. 

He's a jerk, I know that... and I know its my fault because I didn't train him... but you know what, I was in 4th grade, I didn't know how to train an animal! I just needed a friend, and he is that to me.

Hope everyone has a great day, I'm heading to Washington with Mat for a bowling tournament. I will take pictures the days that I'm gone, and I will post them in a blog when I get back. 

I WILL NOT FAIL AT THIS!

Day 3; January 13, 2011: I am

So I've discovered today that I am a people pleaser. I think I've known this fact for a bit, but never really understood what the heck it meant, nor did I have any issue with it at all. Then today I realized that I like to make others happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. I usually say that making others happy, makes me happy... well, this is true... but I also know that I will put something that I want to do off so I can go do something that someone else wants to do. This doesn't seem right or fair to me... so today: I made brownies because I've wanted to since yesterday... and I thoroughly enjoyed eating my bowl of brownie batter. I may die of salmonella but you know what? At least I'll die happy. I am so many things, and I'm starting to wonder if all of them are good for me. So lets see this list:

I am (a):
dancer
photographer
people pleaser
stubborn
shy
emotional
injured
writer
determined
love bug
cuddle bug
easily influenced.
I'm sure there's more, but I do have a life and brownies in the oven, I don't want to take years of writing what I am... whether it be good or bad 'cause you know what?
No matter what:

I AM ME

and I love every minute of it 

because there is no one else like me.

Day 2; January 12th, 2011: Back at base

So I'm back in Eugene, I've decided to call this my "base". I tried out my GPS today on the way back to base, and he (Jeff-y-lee Tomtom A.K.A my GPS) works very well. Though he died so when I started charging him a few minutes ago he was all "you have reached your destination", I thanked him kindly even though this fact was obvious since I am laying on my bed.
The drive was good, I just snuck under all the storms. My dog was abnormally annoying, but it happens I guess.
Once I got back, the guys weren't home so I started unpacking everything so I could hide all my food. I did have the guys that live upstairs help me carry my fridge inside though. Josh did end up coming home while I was still unpacking, but I know he wont steal anything. Mat on the other hand doesn't know where any of my food is. :) hehe, sneaky sneaky.
 Now both of them are gone again, not expected back till 10 or so. So house to myself, which I'm fine with.
Tomorrow: call Brad for a job interview. He called this morning at like 8... needless to say, I was still asleep.
I stayed up really late last night talking to Steven and Derrik so I didn't get up till like 10... though my alarm was set for 8:30. I left home around 12:30 so it wasn't bad, made it to base around 3:20.
So far being back: I've cleaned the kitchen and done dishes, took out my trash, cleaned and unpacked my room, eaten, burnt my hand and am now just able to relax. Hopefully I'll get some good sleep tonight and my dog wont wake me more than once. If he does, oh jeez, I'll sleep tomorrow away after calling Brad.
Day 2: done.

Day 1; January 11th, 2011: Lets get this started.

So today is the day I said I'd start this, and I'm very uninspired today. Great start, right.
So lets explain the day: don't feel like doing my hair and barely wearing make up. Today is the anniversary of my Grandpa Davy's death, and I'm a little gloomy. I was supposed to drive back to Eugene today, but ya know... I don't really feel like being around people today. So I stayed at my mom's, also I get to help her out for the day. I'll head back to Eugene tomorrow, I just really couldn't today. I need to take the day for myself and to help my family.
I decided to start this blog on this day, exactly for that reason: my grandfather's death. I chose this date because it does hold a significant place in my heart. If I was in Cali today, this picture would have been me at the cemetery, but I'm still in Oregon. My goal for next year: the ending picture: me and my grandpa.
Have a great day everyone, and wish me luck on this adventure.