Day 293; October 31st, 2011: Happy Halloween!

 

 

 

 

 

I'd count this as another greatly successful and amazingly awesome Halloween. Last year I was in Vegas, and was getting in my dorm around this time. Now I'm in Eugene and I had a coffee date with Sophie so we could bug Kory. We happened to run (literally) into Max and Hope while we were there. Then Sophie and I hung out for a bit.
But the best part of the night was going to Hailey's house and hanging out with all my amazing friends. ♥
Can't thank everyone enough for making me remember how loved I am, that each day is just what I make of it and that in the end... its all worth it.

 

 

 

 Happy Halloween, loves. Be safe.

Day 292; October 30th, 2011: Tom?

I must say, though today seemed like it was going to be a horrible and slow day.... the ending made up for it.
Tom surprised me by coming and seeing Cabaret, then the cast party was fun. ♥
I'm just happy everything is finally worked out. Though I don't think I'll ever be able to ask the kids I work with what different animals say without thinking "Moose moose".... thanks Luke.
Halloween tomorrow, just in case anyone forgot. ♥ I wanna see/know everyone's costumes!
(I'm going as black swan... except with a red corset. There will be pictures.)

Day 291; October 29th, 2011: "Like A G6"

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooork and pay day. Slept really well and can't wait to dress up tonight after the show. I feel like today is going to be an interesting day...

So, I can now say that Patrick is my favorite person. Along with the obvious others, but he is now officially on the list of the amazingly awesomely great people. He came and got me, drove me back to my apartment so I could get my spare set of keys (since my normal set got locked in my car), took me back to my car and made sure I could get in.

So through all the epic-ness of tonight, including but not limited to:
Sophie predicting that "Like A G6" was going to be the next song to play in my car,
getting to wear my red corset to the theater,
doing the play,
seeing Reynolds (in the audience) during the play and trying my hardest to not look at him,
finishing the play and getting to say hi to Reynolds,
getting in almost my full Halloween costume,
cast party....

I have to say my favorite epic thing that has happened so far is of following....

I wanted cookie dough, pouted that I couldn't have any and then realized there is some in my mini fridge. ♥
Night = pretty amazing.

Day 290; October 28th, 2011: Halloween brownies

Lunch with Mat, now laundry and making Halloween brownies (brownies with orange and brown reese's pieces in them, vanilla frosting dyed orange and Halloween sprinkles). ♥ Couldn't ask for a better day.

I must admit.... sometimes when Sophie sings the lovely songs that she makes up... it makes my life. ♥ "I'm too sexy for my shoes... too sexy for my shoes... that's why I wear sneeeeeeakers."
Great show tonight.
I love the cast, they are all amazing and talented. Another show tomorrow... and I'll know someone in the audience! So excited for him to see me on stage, acting, for the first time. ♥

Day 289; October 27th, 2011: this day and yesterday seem to be the same day.

Don't tell me I'm the one who has a small point of view, need to grow up and figure out the world when you're the one always coming home cross faced. You don't know what I've been through, nor is it any of your business... K? Thanks.

And thank you to Miss Sophie and her amazing family for taking me out to dinner tonight. And another thanks to Miss Sophie for being such an amazing friend when others are just tearing me apart.

Ugh, and of course tonight has to be the night that Joe (one of my roommates) pretty much tells me that I'm an ungrateful daughter, that I need to forgive my father and that I'm oblivious to the life around me. What a jerk.


(P.S. Its good to know that there are grapes inside rasinettes and these grapes hold antioxidants.)

Day 288; October 26th, 2011: 112 new songs.

After adding 112 songs to my Itunes yesterday... I think its time to finally update my Ipod.

These bruises are what I get for being a performer.

Day 287; October 25th, 2011: Missing Vegas.

So not going to lie, last night made me smile. First I get a random conversation with Chris and then Cortney text me. ♥ I guess they could tell that I was missing Vegas and them a lot.
Now off to make food and then leave to volunteer. ♥
{P.S. 15 days and 10 ish hours till my birthday! I'm thinking of having a smallish partyish thing at my place... but I need to know who would be interested in coming... so yeah, decide if you wanna celebrate with me and then tell me! ♥}

I think.... I need to go for a long walk with nothing but my Ipod.....

Waking up early to run errands apparently.Then Sophie is going to be amazing and hang out with me and run some other errands with me.
The walk was good... but not enough...

Plan: make something to eat, set alarm for 8 in the morning, shower, take a few Tylenol PM, work on blog, watch shows until sleep hits me.

Due to recent happenings in life... I'm honestly thinking about either dropping my minor and double majoring or switching my major and minor completely.

 

Day 286; October 24th, 2011: Don't act.

I'd rather someone just say that they don't care over acting like they do.
{{ I'm okay, I promise. There was just some drama over the past few days that just didn't set well.}}
Just a few weeks till my mum is here to see the show. ♥

"and I'm the one who makes no effort and gives no time. Next time, don't blame the problem you see in yourself on me."

Day 285; October 23rd, 2011: Netflix, Hulu or Supernatural?

The play went well today. And the party was fun but I left early, so now I'm in bed... downed a pain killer, changed into PJs and am now laying on an ice pack. Now the tough part: Netflix movies, Hulu tv shows or Supernatural?

Day 284; October 22nd, 2011: I'm determined to let tomorrow be better than today.

Though there were a few negative things, there were a few positive things about today that made up for all the negative. So thank you so much you guys (hopefully, they all know who they are).
Also as my mom always said: well, at least my pinky doesn't hurt. It's been a good day.
I miss her so much.
Show again tomorrow and I'm super excited.
I'm determined to let tomorrow be better than today.
Good night everyone. Sweet dreams.

Day 283; October 21st, 2011: Teriyaki and Alfredo

<.. Hair for Cabaret... yes?

Pick up rehearsal was hilarious. I don't think I've ever had that amazing of an ab work out. Phew. Then dinner with Mat and Sophie was amazing too. I cooked both (teriyaki and alfredo) since I couldn't decide.

Show tomorrow and for the rest of the weekend. SO excited.

 

Day 282; October 20th, 2011: :) ♥

Woke up today and remembered I had 2 nightmares.... no fun. But luckily today will make up for the horrible nights rest. Shopping with Sophie and then pick up rehearsal then cooking. :) ♥

Day 281; October 19th, 2011: Through out the day.

1:04pm: Why yes, I did just wake up at 12:30.
Now, I'm catching up on a few shows thanks to Hulu, and then I have work this afternoon. ♥

1:20pm: Aaaand turns out I don't have work either. Hmmm, maybe I'll actually cook dinner tonight in that case. Chicken alfredo or teriyaki chicken?

 2:03pm: I ended up getting called into work at 6. Lol.

 3:31pm: So I feel cool.... I put on my skinny jeans and it was really tricky to get them over the muscle in my thighs. I'm happy I'm starting to get my muscles back! ♥ ♥ ♥
{{Its odd that such a little thing can just make my day and make it impossible for me to stop smiling.}}

 4:17pm: Catching up on Dancing with the Stars and I must say... soooooooo happy that Derek Hough is back! ♥ Just watched his week 2 dance (Jive) and... I'd give anything to dance with him.

 8pm: Just got off work. Ya know, as much as I love the kids.... it would be great to have interaction with someone older than 11 today.

 

Day 280; October 18th, 2011: Hanging in the country.

Hanging out with Sophie out in the country. ♥ Saw the cows, sheeps and chickens. ♥ Then we went down the the river. Such a good day, it feels so good to be out of Eugene for a bit.

Once I got home:

Had an amazing day with Sophie, and now just waiting to hear from Miss Hannah so I can see her while she is in town as well. A long with everything else that has happened today, I can honestly say... its been one of the best days I've had in a LONG time.

 

At about 11:58pm: 

Met up with Hannah and a few people at Shari's. Its 2a.m now and I'm tired.

Day 279; October 17th, 2011: Supernatural, and late night cake.

For my day off, I'm chilling in bed and watching Supernatural.
My shoulder is sore and that kinda sucks... and I got rescheduled for a few things, but ya know... I'm tired and don't want to move so its all good.

 At about 9:30 Sophie came and picked me up. We went over to Patrick's to watch an episode of Castle.

Then at about 11:50 Sophie and I drove to Albertsons to get cake at about 12:30AM. We literally ran through the parking lot and through the store. We also ran to get the caramel corn, then we ran to pay... then ran to the car and had an epic get away which included a rather funny u-turn.
The cake was amazing, totally worth it.

Day 278; October 16th, 2011: Hello dad.

Up and ready for work. Then performance. Phew. Long day ahead, but I'm super excited.

The play today was amazing. Got a surprise by the fact that my dad was there. He called me this morning to tell me.
Now just waiting for Sophie to come over so we can talk, which is much needed.

Day 277; October 15th, 2011: Stay out of my business.

Ya know... I love that I'm turning 20 in a month but everyone likes to think they have a say on what goes on in MY life. I'm an adult and I can take care of myself. I can make choices for myself and okay... they might not all be the best, but you know what, at least they are mine.
I know a lot of people didn't see me go off and grow up and be on my own in Vegas, but you can ask the people who knew me there... I grew up a lot. I was on my own and I rarely relied on anyone. I thank God for the friends I did make there just because I don't know how my life would be NOW with out them.
So people, if you're still wanting me to be the little girl who seemed to just "fit" in the Valley... do me a favor and stay out of my business.

Day 276; October 14th, 2011: Magic bag of magic

The show went great tonight. My tights ripped but luckily my magic bag of magic had a spare pair. How handy, I guess being a girl scout for a year taught me to "always be prepared"... either that or my Mom taught me well.
Also, I'm super excited because my mom got her tickets for the play!!!! I can't wait till she's here in November. ♥

Day 275; October 13th, 2011: Shirley Maclaine

"Then come the lights shining on you from above. You are a performer. You forget all you learned, the process of technique, the fear, the pain, you even forget who you are you become one with the music, the lights, indeed one with the dance." ~Shirley Maclaine

{{Tonight is the opening night of the play. Technically it is just preview night, but still.}}

Day 274; October 12th, 2011: Mornings like this

(So this picture was taken after dress rehearsal last night. It's my make up for the ending of the play.)

Its mornings like this that I really wish I woke up next to someone. I dunno why, I just woke up with the feeling of Adam's arms around me and I started to cry. Its been more than 2 years since I last saw him and my heart still aches.
After I stopped crying I felt arms around me again... different arms... arms that seemed weaker than Adam's, but aren't... they're still just as strong but just hold on lighter. With this I thought of all the times his arms were around me while we were laying and I started to cry again.
While I was crying I felt arms again... big arms... strong arms... arms that were ready to fight. I knew right away they were Devin's. I started thinking of the last time I saw Devin and again, the tears came.
Before I could even breathe again I felt arms... big arms... strong arms... nervous arms... Gabe's. And I started to cry.

Day 273; October 11th, 2011: Roll with the punches

Got to talk to my mom today. ♥ Now just getting ready for dress rehearsal (take 2), then go fill my tank and get Mat from work... then off to dress rehearsal. Whoo.

Much later: 

Another amazing dress rehearsal. A few glitches and mishaps but gotta roll with the punches.
Phew. Now time to drink lots of water and watch a little Supernatural to oddly calm my brain before I go to sleep.

Day 272; October 10th, 2011: Addiction

Dress rehearsal tonight. Its all getting real now and I'm realizing how much I missed being on stage. I realized it last night, but I woke up this morning with the thought of how much I just want to get back up there. ♥ Its an addiction.

And *gasp* I'm not wearing any jewelry. All my necklaces are off, all my rings and my hair tie "bracelets". Gotta get used to feeling odd since I can't wear any of that in the show.

Later:

Dress rehearsal went well. I just need to remember that I need to get mad at one part. If only I knew what I looked like when I was mad 'cause I kinda have no idea. Lol. Maybe if I acted more jealous rather than mad? Hmm, well I guess I'll try it tomorrow. So excited.

Day 271; October 9th, 2011: Tech and all that jazz.

Phew, got done with Tech earlier than most of us thought which was great.
Went to breakfast with Mat, had work with the kids today, made a spider and a pumpkin. Got to see little Cormack. Then Tech with full costume... and I got the CUTEST new costume so I don't really feel like a librarian anymore. Yay!
Then came home and was able to take a shower without having to think about what time I had to leave. ♥ Now I get to sleep well.
I have a meeting in the morning and then nothing till rehearsal. Say hello to "hell week". Sorry if I don't get back to anyone quickly, I'll do my best to stay in touch with the world. But no promises till the 17th.

Day 270; October 8th, 2011: Realizations and late night pie

 So my realization from last night was that I think my "best friend" took my dad's spot in my life. I usually say I'm one of those girls who went through a lot with my dad without having the daddy issues, but now I'm wondering if I don't have the daddy issues because I already filled the spot with a person who reminds me so much of my dad that it is ridiculous.
The timeline just fits all too well... he came in when my dad stepped out.

Had late night pie with Sophie and Patrick. Have to admit, that made my weekend.
Work with the kids tomorrow and then Tech. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. But we did figure out Sophie's and my hair for the show, we'll work make up some other time.

Day 269; October 7th, 2011: 10:23PM

12:56PM: So today I am cleaning. Doubt I'll get to my laundry till the week so I can take over the laundry room and not be any of the roommates' way, but that' fine, I just need to clean my room.

2:38PM: Procrastinating the cleaning by watching some Supernatural. I can clean tonight, it wont take long... its just clothes. Plus... I need a Sam and Dean fix.

6:17PM: I can see my floor again.

6:25PM: Supernatural = AWESOME for making a whole episode in the 6th season that is dedicated to making fun of Twilight. My night could only get better with pizza!

10:23PM: Just had the strangest realization in the world, and I'm not sure what to think about it yet.

Day 268; October 6th, 2011: Note to self

 Just because I may look all prim and proper, doesn't mean I'm not a goober.
This is how my hair is going to look for the play (Cabaret). I'm supposed to look very 30's and I think the tongue just adds to it, yes?

Anxious to go to rehearsal. Then we have tomorrow off, so I'll use that day to clean my room, for serious this time. Then I work Saturday, and then work on Sunday before Tech. And rehearsal all week, with the show opening on the 14th. Phew, busy, busy, busy.

 

 

 

 

 

After rehearsal:

Note to self: smile more. I got so many compliments today on my smile and my confidence, to where it was impossible not to smile because of some of the compliments. I guess its true, just have to keep smiling because it'll cause others to smile. It shows confidence. Plus, there's always those people (who really shouldn't have that great of an influence over me) who would kill to see me frown.
I don't know what caused this change in me today, but its time to get back to the REAL Carly.

Day 267; October 5th, 2011: Didn't feel like looking all pretty-fied

Plans for the day:
Clean room,
get dressed,
stretch,
rehearsal.
But I'm just saying now, I'm still not in a great mood and I have a killer headache so if I'm a little short fused with anyone I'm sorry. And for those of you who will see me today... yeah, I just didn't feel like looking all pretty-fied today.

Eh... maybe I'll just clean my room after rehearsal tonight (Or... I have Friday off. Ooooooo... maybe I'll clean then?).... right now... I kinda just wanna stay in bed before I take a shower and go fill up my car...

 

Later: 

Rehearsal tonight was just what I needed. ♥ So many great people. Got some much needed hugs too. ♥ Thank you.

Day 266; October 4th, 2011: No fears of tears

So I guess you could say I'm in a snippity mood today but ya know what? I'm so tired of feeling taken advantage of. Its getting ridiculous. I'm in a horrible mood and for sure need some girly time of eating chocolate, painting nails, doing hair and make up along with venting with no fears of tears.
Tonight I'm playing my music as loud as I want so I can sleep, and if anyone tells me to turn it down... I swear I'll just turn it louder.
UUUUUGGGGHHHH

Day 265; October 3rd, 2011: "yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive."

Things to do:
Hair/makeup/getdressed,
Run to the bank,
Eat,
Work out,
Stretch,
Email some people,
Rehearsal.
Okay, reaaady... break!

  So today, I broke up with Jon. It was just getting too irritating. He didn't tell me he had a son and then he kept treating me like I was a child. I couldn't handle it anymore... so that had to end.

"And I don't want to world to see me

'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am
and you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
or the moment of truth in your lies...
when everything feels like the movies,
yeah,
you bleed just to know you're alive."

So I stopped into Subway to get a yummy salad that I can eat for lunch and dinner for 4 dollars (score!) and all I have on it is lettuce, ham, turkey, cheese and ranch. The girl who made it asked if I was going to eat it like that... I wanted to be all "what else am I going to add to it?!"
Then I came home and did some of the dishes, and decided to counterbalance my yummy and healthy lunch/dinner with a lovely unhealthy amount of brownie batter for desert... and to drink with my meal: a pepsi.
Life is good.