Day 110: April 30th, 2011: Spring game

Today I went to Spring game with Andrew and a bunch of his family. Spring game is pretty much a scrimmage just so we can see the new players for the Ducks. It was fun. 

After the game Andrew took me to a bakery and we had cake. 

Then we went to his house and watched a few movies.

Yeah, it was a good night.

But I was a good kid and came home early since I have work tomorrow.

Day 109: April 29th, 2011; Productive? Haha... riiiiight.

Today... I guess I look cute. Not really doing anything.
This morning I had a miniature heart attack because I didn't get up when my alarm went off. In fact, I went back to sleep. Re-woke up at 10 and thought it was Sunday and that I missed work. I checked my phone and I was beyond relieved that it said Friday... Phew.






 I  mailed a letter to Devin today, sent wedding pictures to my sister and made this lovely desktop for my computer.

It has pictures of Florence and the guys include:
Aaron Rodger, Brad Paisley, Brett Favre, Cam Gigandet, Chase Crawford, Derek Hough, Eric Dane, Frank Zombo, Graham Harrell, Gregory Smith, Hunter Hillenmeyer, Jared Padalecki, Jeremy Kapinos, Joe Flacco, John Kuhn, Josh Turner, Kellan Lutz, Kenny Chesney, Mason Crosby, Matt Wilhelm, Orlando Bloom, Rider Strong, Trent Edwards, Wes Welker

Day 108; April 28th, 2011: Girls Vs. Boys

Today I honestly kinda just wanted to hide. So I did. I didn't move from my bed or my room until I went and hung out at Trivia Night at Applebee's with everyone. Then Rachel and Zach came back here and who really knows what happened.
Either way we decided that it was a girls vs. boys night so Rachel and I left Mat's room and came into mine. Rachel and I vented back and forth (which felt good) and now she's gone.
I'm so tired, and yet again: wanting to go into hiding.
Good night readers.

Day 107; April 27th, 2011: Silly alarm didn't go off.

I don't really know how I feel about today. I'm tired and really just... don't want to move.
My alarm didn't go off this morning but luckily I didn't have work till 6. Then, even more luck: I got a text saying I didn't have work today. That's honestly all the excitement that happened today. How boring.

Day 106; April 26th, 2011: Zoom

Today, once I got home it seemed like life just picked up pace.
Mat was home, and we went down to the office to talk about the roommate issues, then we went out to lunch.
After that one of our friends came over.
We hung out here for a bit then went to get Mat's hair did.
We came back here, Mat made dinner.
Then Kirk left, then Mat left.
I hopped into the shower,
then Mat brought his girl friend over...
then they left again.
Zoom!

Day 105; April 25th, 2011: Back to the real world...

So today I had to drive back to Eugene. It was raining so it wasn't that enjoyable of a drive, but still a pretty drive none the less.  I already really miss Vegas, and home and am trying to decide what I want to do.
I could stay here in Eugene and apply to cosmetology school, but I will only stay here if Josh moves out.
I could move back to Vegas and do who knows what...
or I could move back to the Valley.
Ugh, I also have so many choices with guys and I like them all but none of them are going to ask me to date them. So freaking annoying.







So I'm back in Eugene and on my last trip of unpacking my car it started to hail... yes, hail.
Then when Mat got home, he tackled me in a hug and now we're heading over to a friend's house, who I'm willing to bet is a male and is a guy that Mat is trying to set me up with.

Day 104; April 24th, 2011: Happy Easter!

Today I was on a plane heading back to Oregon, I am tired and don't feel like doing anything. I ran around a little bit, but other than that; the couch is where it was at.

Happy Easter, everyone!

Day 103; April 23rd, 2011: The day of my sister's wedding.

I have nothing to say about this day other than it was great to see Gabbi, Ryan and Tyler agian. AND the costume change was fun.

Day 102; April 22nd, 2011: U-N-L-V

It feels so good to be back on campus. My mom and I didn't make much progress on the stuff with the office but we did make a little. Then my mom and I met up with my UNLV roommate: Cortney. I missed this girl so freaking much. Heck I missed everyone from UNLV so freaking much. Anyway, Mom, Cort and I went to eat Panda on campus. My mom was supposed to leave after that so I told my friend Casey to bring her mom and sister over to the SU so I could say hi to her. Then my mom called and said that Cort and I were being taken on a Burlington run (which I was in dire need of thanks to not properly fitting bras), but I knew I'd see Casey on the late night In N' Out run. After my mom dropped Cort and I back at UNLV we ran into Scott and Shana, Scott had to take a double take at me since I didn't really tell anyone I'd be back on campus. It was great. Cort, Scott, Shana and I rode in the elevator and made plans to meet up later. Then Cort and I went back to (what used to be) our room, and got situated for the sleep over. We got bored and made a coffee run since we couldn't do In N' Out till Chris got off work. Once Chris got off work Shana, Scott, (Eric) Foote, Cortney, Chris, Casey, Casey's sister and I all met up at In N' Out. Its at this time that I figured it would be so hard for me to leave again. After In N' Out we all went back to Chris' room and partied it up, our group style.

Jeez, I love these people.

Day 101: April 21st, 2011: Hello Vegas!

I'm back in Vegas for a few days (mainly for my sister's wedding on Saturday) and I'm so excited to be back. I miss this town so much. Don't really miss UNLV, but just this city and my friends.
Right now I'm technically in the airport, but its the rental car terminal part of it.
Tonight my mom and I drive up to my sister's, we'll stay there tonight. Tomorrow my mom and I are going to go to UNLV and talk to some people, then I am staying the night there (which I am greatly excited for). The next day is my sister's wedding and then we fly back to Oregon on Sunday. But I'm trying to not think of that fact, I'm trying to fit in as much fun as I can while I'm here. Ugh, I'm not going to want to leave again, which honestly sucks!

Day 100; April 20th, 2011: Auntie Dana and Rock-star

I hung out with Melissa  today, it was great to see her and hear that she's doing as great as she is. Its odd to meet back up with her because of how close we are and how distant we seem now. But usually we get close again pretty fast.
She was the friend I knew I could do idiotic things with and not get judged and I honestly miss that.

Anyway, once I dropped her back off at the mall I went home and my Auntie Dana was there with her Chihuahua: Rocky (as seen in the picture). I love this dog, and his brother (Cruizer R.I.P). I used to dog sit Rocky and I've missed him tons. I love my Auntie Dana and Rock-star.
Along with these two, my mom's friend was over and not going to lie, it was a little awkward.
After he left, Auntie Dana and I shared feelings until my mom came back in. It was great. I honestly love love love my Auntie Dana, she treats me like I'm 19 year old... not like a child.

I'm also an on-call Designated Driver for many of my friends since it's 4/20. Oh joy.

Day 99; April 19th, 2011: Gabe day

Yay, I hung out with Gabe for most of today. I went and returned the pop cans, got some money, and then pulled weeds for my mom. In the middle of that Gabe came over to hang out. :) I miss that kid so much. While he was over we joked around, and I baked him some chocolate chip cookies. Once mom got home, Gabe and I went to go get some dish soap for her and get a pizza from Bobbio's. YUM! We also watched a lot of music videos online, and just talked.
I told Gabe that I'm going to steal him to Eugene one of these trips, and he said fine as long as he doesn't have a job.


I'm not going to lie: I really like Gabe.

Day 98; April 18th, 2011: Awe...

So today I took pictures.

After that I went over to Auni and Tomy's to see baby Gabriella. Let me just say, though she fussed all day, she is the cutest little girl.

She has the brightest blue eyes, which isn't surprising when you look at her mom and dad.

I just feel bad for her when she gets older because she is going to be one protected little girl: she has Auni as her mom, Tomy as her dad, Gabe as her "uncle" and Amanda as her "aunt".

Poor Gabriella.

Day 97; April 17th, 2011: Nails did

So today, I again didn't really do anything.

Ran around with my mom,

went and got our nails did,

took pictures,

hung out with Jackie.

That's about it.

It feels so good to be home, I'm not going to lie.

Day 96; April 16th, 2011: Bucket list #1 check!

So the #1 thing on my bucket list: ride a horse. And today, as an early Easter gift, my mom helped me achieve this goal.
This is me conquering one of my biggest fears.
You see: when I was younger, one of my dad's friends told me that a horse could eat me. When you're as small as I was, and a horse is as big as they are... this story seems rather believable.
But today, thanks to my mom, I did it.
Bucket list item #1: check



Then to add to today: mom and I went shopping for jeans AND I got to see Devin. :)

Day 95; April 15th, 2011: I'm up, packed and ready to go

So, I'm awake and already packed.

I can't wait to go home today. See my mom and my friends.

I plan on stopping in and seeing my dad today too.

And then ballroom dancing tonight! 

Whoo, I'm excited!

Later: 

Ballroom was fun, lots of younger people which was great to see.

Robinson didn't show up, but that's okay.

After ballroom Steve and I went to Sharie's for pie.

All in all it was a great day.

Day 94; April 14th, 2011: packed and clean room.

I really kinda didn't feel like doing anything today, 

so I just packed for my trip that starts tomorrow.

I also cleaned my room. 

Yeah, that's it.

Day 93; April 13th, 2011: Last day of work for a little.

So today was my last day of work till I get back from Vegas, and after today... I need a break!
You can tell its getting close to a holiday because the kids are hyped up on sugar and the parent's just hand them off to us.
Needless to say: Serena and I had a difficult night with the kids tonight. I still love them dearly, but I can't wait to just kick my feet up and hang out with my friends at UNLV.
Also, Kayla stayed the night tonight. Go figure. I walk in and she's already talking crap. tsh. Whatever, guess I'm getting stolen to go over to Chris' again.

Day 92; April 12, 2011: Better

I feel a little better today, I've been trying to eat a little healthier 'cause I can't afford to get sick. I have Vegas coming up soon!!!!
Nothing really that eventful today.
Got stolen over to Chris' house... that's about it.

Day 91; April 11th, 2011: blah

I feel gross today. I have a horrible sound sensitive headache and can't even sleep it off.
Later:
Talked to Matt today, he always makes me smile. I'm so happy for him, with the whole being engaged and what not. I honestly hope he comes dancing on Friday it would make my life to see him again.
Josh and I went to Subway so I could get a salad. I feel a lot better and my headache is down a lot.

Day 90; April 10th, 2011: Almost forgot...

So I almost forgot to take a picture today. Today was good. I hung out with Chris and Mat all day. We went to see Take Me Home Tonight. It was funny. Mat and I came back home and watched Tangled and Due Date. I guess we're in a comedy mood. I feel kinda down tonight because one of the guys I like that is actually here in Eugene, invited Mat and I to go bowling with him and his family. Mat couldn't go... so that made me not go. Even though I really like Andrew. Then came the realization of the night:

I let a lot of things hold me back...

Day 89; April 9th, 2011: I have Mat's handprint on my upper thigh.

I guess today was okay.I didn't really do anything. Nathan was here so Mat and I hung out with him. We went to VooDoo donuts, Saturday market and then grocery shopping. After that we came back to the apartment and watched Iron Man 2. Mat slapped my upper thigh twice in the same spot so I now how his hand print there (as seen in the picture).

Yeah, that's about it. Nothing that eventful. Like I said.

Day 88; April 8th, 2011: Scholarships.

Seriously all I'm doing today is filling out scholarships and I'll be getting Panda for dinner.

Nothing exciting.

Day 87; April 7th, 2011: I just....

So I got some stuff accomplished today:

• Got my self esteem back up
• Had my eye doctors appointment
• Got new contacts
• worked on HSU application stuff.
• Saw Mat, Chris, Matt and Jesse in the play "Taming of the Shrew" at LCC with Rachel, Heather and Zach. 
• Worked a little

So with all that it was a great day, no down falls at all, until the song "Half Of My Heart" came on my CD player....  I'm so tired of liking these guys that I can't have. I like Gabe but he has a girlfriend and probably wont ever do a long distance relationship with me, but I don't plan on living in the Valley for a long period of time anytime soon. Then I like Devin, who I will probably never date again. I like Chris... but he is looking for someone older. Ugh, just my luck. I joke around with Chris all the time, and when I was leaving tonight after the play I yelled "is anyone going to give me a hug" and he ran at me and picked me up in a huge spinning hug... one that I've always imagined having with guys that I'm dating if I haven't seen them in a long time... but nope. I just wish that though I love like I've never been hurt... that it just got me someplace other than Singlesville Road.

Day 86; April 6th, 2011: it should be interesting.

Yesterday I was down because my self esteem went plumiting downward and crashed farther down than it has ever been. So today I tried to make myself feel better, it worked a little bit. I also had work today and met two more of the kids (Connor and Cormac). Cormac became my little buddy. He's so smart for his age and he loves to read. He made me smile. He also told me that I'm a gorgeous person through and through and gave me a hug. I am now the biggest fan of this little kid. Serena and I started talking more, and she's awesome. I'm liking this job because I'm getting to be friends with the people I work with. On the way to work Jarrod (one of Mat's friends) passed me and he frantically waved at me which also made me smile. 

Tonight I'm going to see if I can make hamburgers, it should be interesting.

ALSO NEW INTERN POST!! 

GO, READ, VOTE!! 

It helps me out a ton!

Justin Beiber and Selena Gomes

Bye bye Brett

Does the DJ have us falling in love?

Would we survive if the lights went out?

Want to unlock your car? There's an app for that!

"One fish Two fish Red fish Blue fish!"
— Dr. Seuss

Day 85; April 5th, 2011: You know... I used to be a daddy's girl..

I've had a pretty good day. I went and got Dutch Bros. blended snickers, called around to some dance studios and got money back. Called my mom and told her she should come up here for her birthday and talked to the guy I like and want to be with (Devin). All this was great, I also found an eye place that will take my insurance so I'm going to call them tomorrow.
Then of course my dad had to call... it honestly seems like he can't let me have a good day.
You know... I used to be a daddy's girl through and through. He could do no wrong in my eyes when I was younger, but now I just see him as a jerk and a bully. I don't care about things going on between him and my mom but it seems he insists on putting me in the middle of it all. My dad used to be my hero, the guy that protected me... but ever since I was 12 his light has been dimming... and now its almost out. He has no respect for me, and yet he demands that I respect him. I honestly used to be a daddy's girl, but all those happy memories with him are slowly fading away to nothing. All I seem to remember now is him always working and me going to baby sitters, or him choosing his girlfriends over me... and now all I remember is fights. I don't like hesitating to pick up my phone when my dad calls, that's not how it should be... but its how it is.

Day 84; April 4th, 2011: .... but he's different around me...

So I am beyond tired today. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I woke up this morning to a text though... it was Devin... saying he misses me. I miss him too, I know a lot of people say I shouldn't and that he's bad news for me. But he's different around me. Not just when its him and I but just around me in general. He's better when I'm around. I don't just miss him because I know this and feel like I need to be around him so he keeps his life on track, but I do honestly and truly miss him.
He knows I wont be with him if I know he's still doing everything he used to do, and since him and I have started talking more and more it seems like a lot of that doesn't matter to him anymore.
I wish he was here, I'm not going to lie. I keep feeling lonely, and wanting to just be cuddled with. I keep feeling vulnerable and like there's no open arms for me to turn to for a safe embrace. My bed keeps feeling bigger and bigger... and I haven't slept without the help of Tylenol PM in nights. Even with knocking myself out... I wake up all night from nightmares. They end up scaring me so much to here I really don't want to go back to sleep anyway.
I text Dev this morning and asked him why he misses me and he said "what is there not to miss". When he talks like that it just reminds me of what he put on the silly Myspace "buy your friends" app.... he bought me from one of my best friends and changed the status to "you might buy her back on here, but I'll always buy her back with my heart"...

... I just wish that everyone would give him a chance to be with me...

Day 83; April 3rd, 2011: JOB!!!

So I got up at around 7:30 this morning to get ready for the first day with the kids. I'm super excited.


Later:  Just got home from round one with the kids. First morning of work: complete. I got clung to by baby Isaac, Sam and Roland. I go back at 4:30 for round to at Twister against Ilasah. Can't wait!

Okay, so I took a nap and ate. I'm so ready for round two with Ilasah. Then I'll come home a cook.. Cheese-y Chicken rice dish thing that my mom taught me sounds yummy. Means I need chicken... and rice... and bro... screw it. I'll go to the store after work.


Even later: Okay so thought I should say it now (seeing as it MIGHT change later, I want it to be documented): I love this job. I could do without the screaming, but the hugs totally make up for it. Getting "beat" at Twister was rather funny too.

Day 82; April 2nd, 2011: *tears*

I really don't feel well today. 

My stomach keeps hurting, along with my left side.

I wanna be home so I can be snuggling with my mom and feeling better. 

I need to get better because tomorrow I have my first day with the kids....

Day 81; April 1st, 2011: I miss my Bridg

 Its April Fools day and I found out that I got the job at the church. I'm super excited. I honestly can't wait to work with some kids, I miss it.

Also: miss my lil sis like crazy today. Her and I got these necklaces last time I was in town. She has the other half, of course. We also have a matching set in our cars (or will once she gets her car). I miss her tons....

On the back we got it engraved:
Bridge
+
Car
3/25